So I'm back. It's been almost three years. I've never been one for commitment. At least not to anything that ever felt like work.
I've often felt that I should go with my emotional flow.
I've fallen off that wagon. Sort of. I've fallen off the wagon of what this blog was originally intended to be. The intention was yet another lofty, stylized idea I had.
Don't get me wrong. I still find the idea of my yarden, any yarden, a lovely one worthy of the work it takes. I've just been on a journey. Well aren't we all?
I suppose what I really mean to say is that I now see that I'm on a journey. I now know there is no end game. Not really. There will be no perfect tomorrow that stays perfect. There will always be that next hurdle. And that's fine. In fact, it's kinda great. Just keep expanding, baby!
My yarden does seem to get lovelier each year, but it's no doing of mine. That husband I have-he's the star player. I guess I'm more of the ideas person. I get side tracked. I get bored. I don't want to work.
His mind and his being bend around that stuff. Mine bends around the feeling.
But maybe that isn't the best excuse. I do intend to have a spot-just a few things- that are mine to tend this year. I want to ease back into being a part of it.
This blog, in its own way, is part of that. In the past, I only wrote when I felt inspired. In the past I've only worked in the yard when I felt inspired.
I now realize that sometimes, when things really matter, it takes more than showing up only when that inspiration arrives. I've only every been willing to do that if I HAD to.
It's part of being a parent. It's why I still have a day job.
So my pep talk today is one that goes a little something like this:
I'm back! I'm here! I am going to commit to being here at least once a week. I am going to write like I talk*. No more trying to look like a fancy blog person. Just me, showing up. Practicing what it means to do that.
I mean, really. It's like the least committal commitment I could make, right? There are pretty much no consequences here. I don't even know if anyone reads this thing. Ha!
So here I am. I'll be back next week. I'll say things that I have to say. Sometimes I'll say them in a funny voice, but you won't hear it, and that's ok.
Until next time.
*Disclaimer: I admittedly have a tendency to get caught up in fanciful talk when I'm writing, but it's just one of those funny voices kinda things.
I've often felt that I should go with my emotional flow.
I've fallen off that wagon. Sort of. I've fallen off the wagon of what this blog was originally intended to be. The intention was yet another lofty, stylized idea I had.
Don't get me wrong. I still find the idea of my yarden, any yarden, a lovely one worthy of the work it takes. I've just been on a journey. Well aren't we all?
I suppose what I really mean to say is that I now see that I'm on a journey. I now know there is no end game. Not really. There will be no perfect tomorrow that stays perfect. There will always be that next hurdle. And that's fine. In fact, it's kinda great. Just keep expanding, baby!
My yarden does seem to get lovelier each year, but it's no doing of mine. That husband I have-he's the star player. I guess I'm more of the ideas person. I get side tracked. I get bored. I don't want to work.
His mind and his being bend around that stuff. Mine bends around the feeling.
But maybe that isn't the best excuse. I do intend to have a spot-just a few things- that are mine to tend this year. I want to ease back into being a part of it.
This blog, in its own way, is part of that. In the past, I only wrote when I felt inspired. In the past I've only worked in the yard when I felt inspired.
I now realize that sometimes, when things really matter, it takes more than showing up only when that inspiration arrives. I've only every been willing to do that if I HAD to.
It's part of being a parent. It's why I still have a day job.
So my pep talk today is one that goes a little something like this:
I'm back! I'm here! I am going to commit to being here at least once a week. I am going to write like I talk*. No more trying to look like a fancy blog person. Just me, showing up. Practicing what it means to do that.
I mean, really. It's like the least committal commitment I could make, right? There are pretty much no consequences here. I don't even know if anyone reads this thing. Ha!
So here I am. I'll be back next week. I'll say things that I have to say. Sometimes I'll say them in a funny voice, but you won't hear it, and that's ok.
Until next time.
*Disclaimer: I admittedly have a tendency to get caught up in fanciful talk when I'm writing, but it's just one of those funny voices kinda things.
