Mindful Leadership- aka: My Passionate Love Letter to the World

>>💛<<

After listening to a recent podcast interview with Brené Brown and Marie Forleo, my wheels really got to turning on how important I think it is for there to be more mindful leaders in this world.

I also realized that to be a leader, you don't have to own a business or have employees.

If you're a parent, you're a leader.

If you're a teacher, you're a leader.

If there is anyone who looks up to you, listens to you, counts on you; you're a leader.

And as a leader, I think it is important now more than ever to be mindful.

And to be mindful

-and let's be honest, more efficient-

I believe you have to understand a few important things and how they can affect not only you, but those around you.

The things that I currently think are the most important are:

shame, vulnerability, empathy, curiosity, and judgement.

Or, at least, these are the topics that have drawn my extreme interest most recently.

Speaking to those leaders out there who are self-identified as such, I believe if you want to level up your leadership in this world, these things are so very ideal to know more about.

And if we hold on to curiosity- the willingness to learn- then I think we will be more able to effectively problem solve.

And problem solving is a part of our daily life- whether we see ourselves as leaders or not.

But the only way to effectively problem solve, is to effectively communicate, right?

And to effectively communicate, I believe,  you have to understand shame.

I think shame lies at the base of all the other things I've listed as important.  Once you understand shame, you can build on that knowledge to understand all of the rest.

I think when you understand shame, you can then, also, understand more clearly not only your own motives and actions, but also the motives and actions of those around you.

And with this clarity, I believe we can more easily put aside our triggers, to then effectively communicate our needs, and more clearly hear the needs of others- even if they are still acting out of shame.

I loved the idea of asking the people you trust most to speak to you- to give you language and verbal affirmation- as to what your value is to them.

And I really loved how, in the interview, Brené talks about how important it is to know our core values, as well.

And even more, I loved the exercise she mentions where you get together with others around you

-whether it's people you work with or live with or whoever you might be sharing a lot of your time with-

and list two of your highest core values.

That is so lovely!

Can you >>>imagine<<< how much more effectively we could all communicate with each other if we not only knew what our own core values were, but also the core values of the people around us as well?!

That just feels like such a game changer!

And it almost sounds super easy, but then I consider that I haven't always known what my core values are.

And, honestly, I'm only guessing at them now.

I am pretty sure that if I had to list two things that would be at the top of my list for core values, they would have to be things that I prioritize without even thinking about them because they are so a part of who I am and how I operate.

With that in mind, I feel that the top two are:

(1) Connection

and

(2) Learning

When I consider that shame's definition is basically the fear of being disconnected, it doesn't seem so strange for me to feel its importance.

Because, see, I really truly do believe that connection is one of thee most important things in the world.

When you connect with someone, you aren't just listening to them or talking at them.

You are sharing with them.

You are set within a moment where there is no shame, no fear, no who's-better-than.

It is quite possibly the most equal you will ever really feel- and thus be- with another human being.

And in that moment communication can be its clearest.

And those moments can be found anywhere from your home to waiting in the line at the grocery store.

Connection is most powerful to me because it is expansive.

And I've come to find that I crave expansion and growth.

Because just as the universe itself continues to expand, I think it's possible that it is meant to be a part of who we are as well.

So it also makes sense that my second core value is what I believe to be learning.

Learning is growing.  Growing in awareness.  Growing in efficiency at problem solving.

Why would you want to keep butting your head against a wall, when a small piece of information could lead you to the doorknob and out the door to where you're actually trying to go?

It's just so much more efficient to learn and grow.

Which leads me back to shame.

It is my belief that shame leads to the most ultimate miscommunications.

And we all know miscommunication is not efficient.

So maybe try it.

Maybe think about and write down what you think your two core values are.

Think about them.

If it feels right, share them with someone important to you.

If it feels right, ask them to think about and share theirs with you.

Whatever it is we do, I can't help but think that if we all take little steps toward this kind of connection and clarity of communication, that we will be more capable at efficient problem solving

together.

>>💛<<

Belief in Ghosts

'Tis the Spookyween season, so naturally I've found myself in conversations about ghosts.

Let's play with this idea.  Of ghosts.

Why not believe in ghosts?

Invisible things affect our physical bodies all the time.

Some cultures even believe that a ghost is anything that haunts you.

🦇👻🦇

Like a memory, 

or a mistake, 

or a decision,

or a regret, 

or a habit, 

or a relationship,

or an illness

or an allergy

or a thought 

etc.

🦇👻🦇

Belief in ghosts is this kind of wavy line for me.

I've never had a ghost experience in the traditional sense, myself; but I know some people who have

-or at least believe they have.

And there are other friends who have witnessed some weird-ass unexplainable things.

There have been a few times in my life, however, that this great fear came over me for seemingly no reason. 

This feeling like something was going to suddenly appear and hurt me.

Once was when I had arrived home a few minutes ahead of Mark.

Flora was with me, so we set out while he finished up at his mom's house.

I pulled up; it was dark both inside and outside the house.

I suddenly felt so panicked that I almost pulled out and went back up the road to my mother-in-law's house.

Then I thought that seemed kinda crazy.    (psh)

So I thought about calling him.   That seemed crazy, too.   (psh)

So I did this totally not crazy thing: 

I turned off the car, ran to the other side as fast as I could to unbuckle Flora, ran to the door (which is maybe ten feet away from my car door) as fast as I could, and, all frantic-like, unlocked the door as fast as I could, shut it, and locked it.

That wasn't the end.

Then I had to bravely burst into each room and turn on the lights while frantically searching all hiding spots.

I'm sure I looked like a mad woman (poor Flora).

But it felt like my life was in serious danger!

After all the lights were on inside and outside the house, I calmed down a bit.

The other time- it was also dark- I was walking up the stairs to my father-in-law's empty apartment.

No lights were on inside and I thought I heard a sound like something had plucked the bow hanging on the wall.

My mind went into belief overdrive, I suppose, because, again, I had that feeling like something was going to jump out and git me!

So I grabbed whatever it was I needed and ran back down the stairs barely holding in one of those frightened giggle-shrieks.

I think it is extremely possible-

especially considering that all things are made up of energy/movement/sound-

that what we experience as a "ghost" could be our human brains trying to make sense of something energetic.

I could see that maybe what we experience, we actually shape ourselves with what is already known to us.

Most apparitions are human in origin.  They usually have movement or sound associations as well.

Who's to say that, maybe even, we don't create them ourselves?

I think it is, again, extremely possible, that we may conjure something with our very thoughts/emotions/energy that we don't yet comprehend fully.

I've even considered that maybe those who have seen ghosts in the traditional sense may very well be seeing human entities- but that still they aren't exactly that.

Maybe they are memories attached to a residual energy?

And I don't even mean memories that belong to the person having the experience.

I mean, we now know that memories are stored in our bodies- not just our brain.

So who's to say what is and isn't possible?

Whatever ghosts are, I have found myself thinking that the neat little categorized boxes we put them in may not actually do them justice.

Anyway, if you're reading this and have had your own experiences, I'd enjoy hearing about them. 

:👻*Spooky Disclaimer*👻: 

 I am in no way trying to take away from anyone the experiences they've had.  I am just someone who has not had these experiences myself, playing with expanding the idea of all the things they could be.

Thanks for 🦇 spooking 🦇 by!