A Date with Playfulness

So, when I sit to meditate, I like to burn Sage.

Regular ol' culinary Sage.

And sometimes I think about that.

I think about what is normally perceived about a person who does things like that.

And I think about where I stand on the other end of that perception.

I honestly don't do it to clear spirits or energy- though I do like the idea of the latter, and try to treat it as somewhat of a ritual of entering into stillness when I meditate.

So one day as I was burning my Sage- watching it dance and swirl around my hands and in the light coming through the windows- I thought, "Why do I do it?"

And in response, I also think:

Well, I enjoy the smell for one thing.  But I also like to just play in the smoke.

I like to see how it whirls and twirls in the light; the way it blooms up around and through my fingers and toes.

I like the heat of it on my wrist and feet.

In this moment, I'm actually thinking these things as I'm doing them, and then this really neat thing happens.

I start to realize that I have this involuntary smile that feels like it is literally lighting up my face.

And then, I realize that these thoughts have brought this energy into my body that is so buoyant, and it's just rising up and beaming right out of me!

And I start thinking about this feeling and identify it as a feeling of playfulness.

As I recognize it as playfulness, the energy just beams that much more out of me- I mean this smile felt so big;

and strong.

Robust.  Yeah.  I think that's the word for it!

And as I realize that this sense of playfulness can elevate my energy this much, I start wondering,

"Where all does this feeling show up for me in my life?"

Because it feels damn good!

And because I start to think that maybe if we can identify where it shows up for us, we can begin to understand what brings us joy;

and we can follow that joy;

and we can lead more fulfilled lives.

Or, at the very least, we can begin to use playfulness as a tool to dispel the gloomies- to lift us up out of those dark places.

So for me, this feeling often shows up in the stillness- when my thoughts and imagination can have a spotlight to play in.

Or just when I get a good idea and suddenly have this stream of thoughts of how to accomplish that idea (I usually have to write it all down).

I feel it with certain music.

I feel it when I dance.

I feel it when I sing (alone in the car, of course).

I can feel it when I'm creating something.

And then I consider the places it doesn't always show up.

And I start to think on what it feels like to feel free.

Free, that is, from the confines of expectations, anxiety, and fear.

In the stillness, in the music, in the moments where I'm creating- I'm able to step away from those things.

And I realize- when you're holding the hands of fear and anxiety, you can't hold hands with playfulness.

I think it just may be impossible.

But, if you find yourself in that place where you can't let go...

Maybe, just maybe, if you know where to find playfulness- and you make a date with it- maybe you can find your way back into the light of joy and freedom.