So the topic of the week for me is shame.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
I've been obsessed with the work of Brené Brown for about two weeks now.
A lot of her research deals in shame.
It is no surprise that, as I've used a lot of my spare time delving into finding every interview/talk of hers that I can find, my own shame has been shown to be over and over again in the last few weeks.
When it first became apparent to me, it started as just about any shame does: anger at the one who "made me" feel it.
I processed through that for a few good days. Remember? I wrote about it.
I finally came to the conclusion that it was, indeed, my own shame being shown to me.
I decided that I would look at it as practice.
I mean, in a sense, a lot of life is- right?
So I say to myself, "Don't take it so hard, champ. You'll never be able to change your approach without practice. Practice is a good thing."
And boy have I had a lot of practice these last few weeks.
It certainly hasn't made perfect, but then again, I haven't been practicing very long.
I doubt it will ever really be "perfect," and I think the real goal is just being ok with that.
It's hard to train yourself not to have a knee jerk reaction to shame. You can prepare all you want, but it's called a knee jerk reaction for a reason, right?
So, for now, I know the best thing I can do is to just keep loving myself; to just keep reminding myself that we are all perfectly imperfect; and more than anything, to be patient with myself.
Just because I know a thing, does not mean I instantly have it mastered.
I think it'll do me some good to just keep reminding myself of that.
I'm so thankful to have friends with whom I can discuss these things with. Friends, who, when I show them all the shame I have, they give no judgement back.
Friends, who, with their very presence, remind me that I can give myself the same allowances I give others. That I don't have to always expect so much of myself (which just creates more shame in the first place).
So a shout out to my merry mermaid making buddies (for mermaidy things we did create today!)- you know who you are ♥
Now, in leaving off where I began, please enjoy this talk by the one and only Brené Brown on Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones Who Count.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
I've been obsessed with the work of Brené Brown for about two weeks now.
A lot of her research deals in shame.
It is no surprise that, as I've used a lot of my spare time delving into finding every interview/talk of hers that I can find, my own shame has been shown to be over and over again in the last few weeks.
When it first became apparent to me, it started as just about any shame does: anger at the one who "made me" feel it.
I processed through that for a few good days. Remember? I wrote about it.
I finally came to the conclusion that it was, indeed, my own shame being shown to me.
I decided that I would look at it as practice.
I mean, in a sense, a lot of life is- right?
So I say to myself, "Don't take it so hard, champ. You'll never be able to change your approach without practice. Practice is a good thing."
And boy have I had a lot of practice these last few weeks.
It certainly hasn't made perfect, but then again, I haven't been practicing very long.
I doubt it will ever really be "perfect," and I think the real goal is just being ok with that.
It's hard to train yourself not to have a knee jerk reaction to shame. You can prepare all you want, but it's called a knee jerk reaction for a reason, right?
So, for now, I know the best thing I can do is to just keep loving myself; to just keep reminding myself that we are all perfectly imperfect; and more than anything, to be patient with myself.
Just because I know a thing, does not mean I instantly have it mastered.
I think it'll do me some good to just keep reminding myself of that.
I'm so thankful to have friends with whom I can discuss these things with. Friends, who, when I show them all the shame I have, they give no judgement back.
Friends, who, with their very presence, remind me that I can give myself the same allowances I give others. That I don't have to always expect so much of myself (which just creates more shame in the first place).
So a shout out to my merry mermaid making buddies (for mermaidy things we did create today!)- you know who you are ♥
Now, in leaving off where I began, please enjoy this talk by the one and only Brené Brown on Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones Who Count.
No comments:
Post a Comment